i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
