haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
