It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
