So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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