All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
