I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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