dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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