At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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