I bet he comes in French.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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