So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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