Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i think i just lost a toe
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
