Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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