I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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