You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
