I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
