I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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