there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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