I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
