It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I currently don't understand fingers.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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