three words: i give head
three words: not that well
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
