Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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