I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
there is glitter all over my balls
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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