i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize