"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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