Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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