look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
