This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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