I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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