I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
