I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
