We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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