yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize