Don't make out with my wife yet
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
