Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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