I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
