i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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