I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
