This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
