She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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