i can't believe i had my finger in that
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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