I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
