was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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