Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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