I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
