Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
...so i touched it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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