Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
