We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize