Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
