Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize