Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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