nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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