Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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