I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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