google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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