We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
