So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
