We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
