yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
