do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
