Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
