i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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