My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
