If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
