i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
