i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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