Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
