You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Come share oat with me in your robe
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
