just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize